Redefining Life

Word lovers of the world, awaken, unite. The cancel culture Philistines are upon you.

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The revolution has begun. Treasured tried-and-true words and phrases are becoming outdated detritus. Their twisted carcasses are blowing like lifeless litter in the streets of woke academics. Vernacular and idiomatic expressions are taking on sinister meanings. Life as we know it is being redefined.

We can no longer claim to be what we thought we were. A subversive alien academic culture is redefining our very existence. We’re taking on strange meanings and personas. What’s our pronoun, our orientation, our gender? It’s all very confusing.

And who knows where this is all leading. We read about these new definitions; words like ‘recession’ now becoming ‘transition.’ Contorted nomenclature designed to confuse the masses.

I can sorta agree with this particular definition, seeing that inflation has transitioned my meager stash into another state. That state is poverty. Listen to the cheers. Another one bites the dust, they chant.

The genesis of this transformation is coming from a strange new generation. They’re sick of the status quo, they want change at any cost, delirious to watch the old guard crumble, become rubble and replaced with a new version of reality. They’re the latter-day prophets of Baal, sitting around with laptops and lattes, dreaming up novel concepts with which to manipulate everyday words. They need jobs using shovels for attitude adjustment.

Look, we’ve been grappling with the meaning of ‘is’ for years ever since our former Arkansas President redefined the verb ‘is’ to explain away his weird predilection. We don’t hear much dialogue on this redefinition since it was discovered that ‘is’ soon morphs into ‘was’ with little fanfare. You might even say that ‘was’ is ‘is’ in drag. Does that enlighten you?

Many words and expressions age quickly into cliches in the social media world of today’s culture. The Ray-Ban Man who does his reading from a teleprompter has commandeered the sports expression of ‘game changer’ and uses it ad nauseam. It can now apply to anything where momentum shifts.

Have you noticed how quickly the word ‘discussion’ can in one giant leap become a ‘narrative,’ a story that takes on a life of its own and is talked to death ad absurdum? And its impossible now to look at ‘women’ and think of them as ‘birthing people.’

It’s of particular interest of how ‘propaganda’ has subtly become simply ‘misinformation.’ It’s equally amazing how easily an ‘emergency’ can become a ‘crisis’ And, how any so-called ‘crisis’ can just as easily become an ‘issue’ with just the twist of the tongue.  Please, let’s don’t dare touch the word ‘supremacy, which is always color-coded white.

Don’t forget ‘marriage.’ This word is still in surgery undergoing a full lobotomy, and whatever Frankenstein evolves from it is anybody’s guess. Only some believe the marriage vows could be recodified for improvement. Perhaps it would simplify divorce proceedings if “I do” were changed to “Maybe.”

You get the message. We’re in the middle of change, a civil war of linguistic evolution, a Mason-Dixon line of division between the old and the new. What will evolve? We’ll just have to wait and see.

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Meantime, why not wax philosophic while you wait out the outcome? After all, your own ‘is’ will become ‘was’ sooner than you know. And it’ll be a game-changer for sure. Enjoy the drama but stand fast in the tried and true.

Bud Hearn

August 12, 2022