Falling in love is easy. Happens all the time. One might conclude we’re born to love. Even flings with mannequins.
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Objects of affection are everywhere. Like lovers, they change depending on whims. They can just pop up out of nowhere, grab us and we’re hooked.
Today I fell in love with the mannequin in the island’s only family-owned drugstore. It’s the last place one could imagine falling in love, unless one is swooned off his feet by pills, palliatives or psychological placebos.
Pharmacies push pills for everything. Some even guarantee to keep love alive and well. Which might be why the mannequin is there in the first place, standing in a sultry tilt as you walk through the door. It’s a touch of marketing genius.
I had barely stepped inside when I saw it. I did a double take. Even at second glance it seemed out of place. Second glances are dangerous. If the first doesn’t get you, the second one will. It’s the conception of lust.
Remember the adage, ‘In battle the eye is first overcome?’ Well, believe me, bubba, lust is a hard battle to win. Mano a mano. Oh, you’ve tried, have you? How did that work out for you?
Now, lust is not an evil word, although it’s a party crasher in polite social discourse. It can conjure up the seamy side of things. Lately it has taken on a nasty connotation, sort of like the super-charged term ‘racist.’ These troublemakers tend to stir up a lot of mischief wherever they go. If accused, defenses go up and denials gush forth. But I digress.
Somebody with salacious psychological insight obviously enjoyed dressing this mannequin. I had to shove a few guys out of the way to just to take a peek. They’d been there too long already. One had started drooling and another was gobbling Tums.
It was one of those faceless mannequins, a slight nose, but no mouth, ears or eyes. It’s best to allow the imagination to take you where it will. One can keep the sordid details stored in their own secret memory album. Time, place and action are personal.
Today’s mannequin modeled a flimsy suggestive cotton beach coverup, one like you see advertised in slick spa magazines depicting the French Riviera along the Cote d’Azure. While East Beach has no resemblance to the Mediterranean coast, imagination and pretense can still do a pretty good job of substitution.
Judging from today’s gawkers, I doubt if they’d ever been to a French coast. If they had, they’d be doing a lot more than just drooling.
We should always be on the lookout for opportunities to help our fellow man. This was a perfect time for a short homily from the Good Book on the perils of an overactive imagination, especially when it’s drawn to scanty beach wear. But the best advice I could give was: “Men, don’t let your eyes take you on a trip your body can’t handle.”
But since my imagination had also fallen under the mannequin’s spell, the warning was blatantly hypocritical. Hypocrites have been stoned for less.
Somehow, I escaped the gravitational allure of the mannequin and patted myself on the shoulder that I’d just conquered today’s battle with lust. I strolled on back to the pharmacy for the pain panaceas. Amazing how a little pain can chill a lot of romance.
While waiting for my ‘fix,’ I noticed the front-page article on the New York Times. It read, “We don’t have to rely on men anymore.” I read a few lines. Seems Japanese women are fed up with marriage, despise men and are marrying themselves. Yes, marrying themselves.
Things always come full circle. In reflecting on my short-term romance with today’s mannequin, I recalled what a pushover Adam was. No questions asked, no goading required. He submissively ate that fruit right from Eve’s hand. And if today’s mannequin had been serving grapes, well, it would have confirmed the eternal truism: ‘love is blind.’
Is it really possible to fall in love with a mannequin? Maybe, with a vivid imagination. But admit it, we love certain psychological personifications: Ronald McDonald, Mickey Mouse, Energizer Bunny and Uga. Some even love the ass, uh, donkey, representing the Democratic Party.
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Today’s love affair with the mannequin was short but refreshing. Amazing how little imagination it takes to make the heart smile.
Bud Hearn
August 9, 2019