If some part of the hog is not in your refrigerator or vocabulary, your lineage is questionable.
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The hog lies there in its watery wallow, muddy from snout to tail, happy as a ‘pig in stink’ to use the vernacular. How would language express the inexpressible without the aid of this animal?
Poor boy. He’s been sliced up from hoof to hock to satisfy our every epicurean craving. Not satisfied with that, we have made him into an adjective to give meaning to our Southern idioms.
Takes little head scratching to come up with idiomatic expressions using ‘Hog’ as the descriptive adjective. What better way to express the irrational exuberance of the stock market casino than with the simple phrase, it’s ‘gone hog wild?’
AI tech is running the tables of our betting parlor, pandering to avarice and greed. Everyone wants in. Every trader has ‘gone whole hog’ rolling the dice and chasing the dream.
The Bull and Bear are being removed from the entrance to the gambling den. Replacing them is an enormous statue of none other than a University of Arkansas Razorback. Maybe it’s to remind speculators that ‘pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered.’
You might ask, what does ‘whole hog’ mean? Back in the early 1800’s a dime was called a ‘hog.’ Nobody knows why. To go ‘whole hog,’ or totus porcus if you prefer Latin, was to spend the whole dime all at once, not piecemeal, especially when taking a flyer and buying a ‘pig in a poke.’ That was a bad bet then, still is today.
But it goes farther back than this. Remember Noah, the desert boatbuilder anticipating a flood? He reluctantly allowed the hog on board, only to have his organic herbal garden uprooted. A lively tete-a-tete ensued between Noah and God about the matter. God won. The hog stayed on board.
The hog’s reputation is held in much greater esteem today than several thousand years ago. It was branded ‘unclean’ by a certain nomadic tribe wandering aimlessly around the Middle East deserts. Not so today.
Pork bellies, that’s bacon, you know, was forbidden with this tribe. Kosher ruled. No matter. Like any ‘forbidden’ thing, a black market exists. Who can resist fried bacon? How ‘pig-headed’ can anyone get? So, there was a lively market for bootleg bacon.
But what to do with the hooves? No pub worth drinking in would be without a jar of pickled pig’s feet. Ingredients for the recipe come from Noah’s organic herbal garden: peppers, garlic, peppercorns, salt, onion, celery, water and vinegar. Throw in some boiled eggs, pop the top of a cool one and you’ll be living ‘high on the hog.’
Very few animals have accounted for more descriptive uses of their name. Oh, yes, there’s ‘bird-brain,’ or ‘horse play,’ or ‘cat-nap’ or ‘playing possum,’ but they don’t measure up to ‘pig-sty’ for description of a teenager’s bedroom.
How many applications are there for the use of the term ‘hog-tie?’ Start counting. Don’t forget you once had your very own ‘piggy bank?’ And was there ever a young girl who never had ‘pig tails’ in their hair?
Somewhere along the timeline the term BBQ enters the lexicon. What charcoal or gas cooker has never served up baby-back hog ribs for an afternoon’s ‘pig-out?’ Take the pig out of BBQ and college football would cease to exist.
Give the pig its due. What child has never had the nursery rhyme, “This Little Piggy” played on their toes?
“This little piggy went to market,
this little piggy stayed home,
this little piggy had roast beef,
this little piggy had none.
And this little piggy cried wee, wee, wee all the way home.”
Pigs have been our friends for a long time.
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My father had a favorite saying about hogs. He made certain I knew its meaning when I left home for the big world: ‘Root, hog…or die poor.’ Work or starve. Good advice today.
Here’s hoping when it’s all said and done, and we’re ‘in hog heaven,’ the lowly creature will be forgiving of our indiscretions.
Bud Hearn
July 31, 2023